Date Night In

What do mean, "do I wanna
watch some TV?"

We all know that I think highly of stay-at-home parenting for a gazillion reasons. But the other side of the coin is that some things in your life are bound to suffer, right? Here's my analysis: Three things happen when you are a stay-at-home parent. 1 - The family has considerably less expendable income (because there is only one salary) 2 - The homebound parent becomes desperate (to the point of annoyance) for adult contact, but too exhausted to do much about it, while the working parent feels like they are in too much demand at home, with all the kids and their spouse hanging off them every waking moment. 3 - The parents spend all their time together tending to little ones, and can spend hours in the same room without touching, or even looking at each other.

Solution time! Everyone needs more time for themselves - that much is obvious. And luckily, with communication, this can happen. A 45-minute trip to the supermarket by myself can do wonders for me, even if it's at 8:30, once the kids are in bed. My husband understands that I need those few minutes, and he makes it happen all the time. And he's always developing hobbies that keep him...him! Sports with other guys have (strangely) become a key factor in our happy marriage. As it turns out, making time for ourselves has been relatively easy. But what about that other person that you share a bed with. What's their name again?

In the last week, I caught myself thinking "I just miss my husband." How can this be if I see him every day? What exactly is quality time? How can we make the most of the 1.5 hours we get together (on a good day) before we pass out from exhaustion at 9:30? Here's what we came up with: Date Night In.

I'll change his diaper once I can feel my legs.

Money is tight, time is tight, and we can't do anything that goes further than our baby monitor can reach, but what are these obstacles in the face of love? Well, they're pretty brutal, actually. So I turned to my good friend Google for the answers and found a great list of suggestions that I've adapted and added to. I thought I would share some of the ideas. My husband and I plan to spend one night a week together, focused on each other, so that we make the most of our time. It makes it easier to devote time to ourselves, our kids and our tasks without guilt or regret (or in my case, a pity party). I hope you find these ideas helpful! I'll let you know how it goes for us.

1. Spend an evening thinking up things to do on your evenings in.
2. Do a cooking project together - bake your favorite cookies or try your hand at a specialty bread.
3. Read a book or scriptures together. Or, read a book apart, then come together to discuss it on your night in. Some recommendations: The Good News about Sex and Marriage, Rome Sweet Home, The Book of Us.
4. Plan the future. Make a list of goals for one, five, ten years from now. Seal them in envelopes and store them somewhere safe with a "to-open" date on the outside.
5. Plant a garden! If you don't have daylight on your side, do your gardening at the dining room table in small pots to take outside later, or just sketch out a garden to work on when the kids are playing outside.
6. Dance together! Don't know how? Learn! Use youtube to learn a new step, or just dance to an old favorite.
7. Exercise together. A calm evening session of yoga for the eastern-minded couple. I think you see where this might go.
8. Treat the kids to pizza or chicken nuggets then plan a special "midnight meal." Go crazy - eat on the porch (without the high chair) or in the living room in front of your favorite move. Something that would cause a huge mess when the kids were awake.
9. Make popcorn. There's some easy flavored recipes out there (here's a great Christmas Popcorn recipe). Romantic comedy and action flic double feature - let the man choose the girly movie and vice versa for a change.
10. Make something for the house or for each other. Think, friendship bracelet for grown-ups. Here's a couple man-friendly crafts I love: PVC Pipe Storage Shelf, Bleached T-Shirts, Manly Paracord Bracelet.
11. Take a stroll (or sprint, if the kids gave you trouble) down memory lane. Read old love letters, pour over journal entries, laugh at old photos. Maybe even organize them into a book together as you go.
12. Plan a second honeymoon—even if it’s only imaginary. Go crazy. Use the internet and pick out your hotel, the sites, the restaurants. 
13. Check out a library book about the constellations, then stargaze in the backyard.
14. On a hot summer night, wash the car together. Think Mariah Carey.
15. Sketch out your dream house, bonus room, porch, yard, whatever. Bounce ideas off each other. You could stay grounded or spend thousands in imaginary currency on things like DVD players in the ceiling and 7 foot fish tanks.
16. If you play instruments or sing, have a jam session. Learn a new song together.
17. Use the internet to trace your family history and make a detailed family tree for your kids.
18. It may not sound too fun, but many hands make light work: Combine efforts to finish one some monumental task you've been procrastinating: paint a room, organize the garage, sort through your closet for goodwill. I bet the next time you look at your sparkling clean pantry or new recycling area, you'll think of doing it together. And it leaves you free of some stress, to better enjoy each other.
19. Find your wedding vows and go through them line by line. Compliment each other on sticking to them, and maybe take a minute to pick one to really focus on. Finish up by cruising through your wedding guestbook and photo album. 
20. Teach each other something new from something you're good at. Self defense, a little bit of a foreign language, how to shoot a lay up, etc.
21. Make chalk drawings on the driveway. Draw caricatures of each other. Be embarrassed that the neighbors will see it in the morning, but rest assured you can blame it on the kids.
22. Watch the sun set. You might find yourself talking about something other than strained peas and school supplies.
23. Pick an unfamiliar country and make a night of it. Prepare their local food, rent a documentary or foreign film from the library and learn how to say “I Love You” in the native language.
24. Make a "loved" list. Write down AT LEAST 25 things your spouse has done for you in the last year that made you feel loved, then read and discuss with each other. It will inspire repeat performances.
25. Learn each other's love languages! Here's a quiz. You might be shocked at how much your spouse has been loving you lately - in their own way.